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Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Some of my Parenting likes, and dislikes, thus far

Note: Well, this is just a little bit about my likes and dislikes so far. Please, i love comments and advice, but please, lets all be adults, and keep things educated. Things like "YOU ARE HORRIBLE BECAUSE YOU DID THAT" is not helpful, or educated, thank You.

Breastfeeding: I am all for personal choice when it comes to this. I don't think anyone is a bad parent or harming their child for formula feeding or for breastfeeding. While i was still pregnant i was on the fence about either/or. I am not a single mom (her dad is still in the picture, kinda) but i am doing a lot of this on my own. I decided that having to always worry. "Did i have enough?" or "Was my baby getting everything she needs" wasn't an added stress i needed. I then decided to write down my pros and cons.

-It would be cheaper, because formula is extremely expensive.

-It would always be there, so therefore i wouldn't need to worry if i had enough. I'm pretty sure my boobs weren't gonna stop pouring anytime soon.

-I'm not extremely comfortable with my body, and although i give super props to women who can breast feeding in public, i didn't want my body to have to be displayed in front of everyone if i needed to feed in public.

-What if her daddy had her and ran out of milk, and i wasn't available, and couldn't get there in time.

These were not everything on the list, but they ended up being the most important.

When i had Em she was very small (5lbs 14oz) and by the time we left the hospital she was nearing 5lbs even, so me and the doctor and my nurse (I love them both, A TON, seriously i could not have done this without their help and support for the past 9 months) decided it would be best after a very long discussion and debate to put her on a high calorie formula (Enfamil Enfacare 22cal) because she was losing eight so quickly. So we changed her to this formula and her weight went up amazingly. She is healthy and growing like a weed now!!!

I respect every ones right to do as they please, and as they feel is best for their lifestyle. For me, bottle-feeding was the right choice, for others it may not be and either way, you are still caring and loving your little bundle of joy. (or bundle of poop, as the case may be sometimes)

Swaddle: We tried to swaddle Em for the first three or four nights, and she screamed and yelled every time she was wrapped. So we decided to try just throwing a light blanket over her at night, and letting her sleep comfortably. She slept like a rock. TO this day, she still is NOT ok with being wrapped up in a blanket, or a swaddle-me. So, it is definitely a different story for every baby, if they work great for your child, that is amazing, if not you have to find other ways to calm and comfort.

Sleep positioner: The instructions on these say, once your baby can roll over, to stop using them. Well, two days after we got home little Em decided that she was not being stuck in one position, and was rolling happily back and fourth. So, for us, they were just a waste of money, however if they work for you GREAT! Remember, every mom and baby are different, and we all have to make adjustments to fit our own lifestyle.

Bassinet: When i found out i was pregnant i really wanted one of those Victorian-style bassinets that every little girl dreams of. Well, after looking at all of them, i just couldn't seem to find one that was what i needed/wanted. Then i found my Baby trend Pack-n-play. It has a sleeper, that fits on top, once the baby is to big for that, it has a "middle" sleeper, so they are still easy to pick up during those night time feedings, but safe from rolling out, and of course, you can use it just as a pack-n-play. It also came with a changing table add on, that makes life easy when i don't have a clean surface to throw her on. I was also short on space for everything, so having the built in, combination, helped us ALOT! If your heart is set on having a bassinet that is fine, but the packnplays are lifesavers for us in this house, was less expensive, and a space saver!

Special detergents: Unless your child has severe sensitive skin, i suggest using just your normal everyday laundry soap (we use, the tide free-n-clear, but almost all brands now have "free and clear" type, so there are a lot of choices) BIG PROPS to moms who have the patience and time to sort and wash adult clothes, and baby clothes separately, but i would be doing laundry ALL DAY around here. The only clothes i make sure i keep separate from baby clothes are her Dad's filthy, nasty, work clothes. Use what works for YOU, not for everyone else.

Baby soap/shampoo/lotion
:At the hospital, they used Baby Phisoderm on her and not only did it make her skin smooth and soft, it doesn't have a horrible fragrance to it. It's a baby wash, so can be used on hair and body, and we love it. It is a bit on the pricey side, so we decided that after our little one is older, we will be changing to a scent-free regular body wash, and she seems to really enjoy being rubbed down with the Johnson's Bedtime lotion after a nice splash in the tub. But, until she is actually dirty warm water and just a drop of the phisoderm works great for us at the Em household :).

Wipe Warmer
: We live in Southern Mississippi, for those of you who have never been here, it is HOT (i mean like 104, 105) for a better part of the year, on the few months that it isn't THAT hot, it still isn't really COLD (had Christmas in shorts a few years back) It is also so humid you feel like you need another shower, the moment you step outside. So for us, if anything, the cool wipe on her bottom was a refreshing feeling, not a BRRR it's cold, kinda thing. They take up more space then they are worth in my opinion, but as i said, that is my opinion and based on where i live and our climate. If i would have had her while i was still in Chicago, i would probably DEFINITELY try one, because it's -50 on the warm days there sometimes, and although it would be a "wipe warmer" it would probably be used more as a "wipe defroster". :)

Diaper Bags : At my baby shower, the girls all chipped in and got me a beautiful brown and pink bag with all the fixins. I packed it up, once..It was so unorganized feeling all day, and i didn't want to have to carry a bag that was the size of a large dog just to run to lunch. If we are gone for longer than 4-5 hours i pack the big bag, but otherwise, i went to our local Walmart (or any other similar store, Kmart, Target, etc) and bought a regular backpack, with the pockets and spaces i needed. It's almost the size of a pre-school backpack and it carries all i need for 3-4 hours trips.

Side note: I also got a "diaper wallet" at my shower and although at first it seemed a bit "much" I LOVE IT now. You stick some wipes in, a couple diapers, cream if needed, and an extra suit of clothes and your ready to pick it up and go, my actual wallet is almost bigger then this thing is (it's about the size of a travel wipes case)

Well, there are my thoughts, and what worked for me, remember this isn't what works for EVERYONE and this is my first go around, so I'm learning along the way

If you have any advice, or questions, or comments please feel free to let me know :)

Ta Ta from me for now :)


  1. As far as breastfeeding, you know I'm the expert, LOL... You gotta do what you gotta do. I wish I could have talked to you about this before though! I'm always a little shy about it, because I don't want to seem like I'm pushing, and some mommas get really defensive...

    You can always do both! Kara gets mainly boob juice, but if PJ wants to feed her, she gets formula, because my boobs don't respond to a pump well at all. Once I told myself I wasn't being a horrible mom (I hear "formula is evil" way too much, so I know exactly how you feel), it was such a stress relief. I don't have to worry about PJ not having enough if I go out for a night with friends.

    A little is still really good for her! She'd still get your immunities and whatnot. I know your milk probably dried up by now, but if you wanted to start again just to give her a little bit, it's still totally possible. Let me know if you want more info :)

  2. Also, LOL at diaper warmers. Those are such a waste IMO.

    Once Kara stopped loving the swaddle, we got her a wearable blanket... they sell them at Target, it's basically just a outfit that has the feet closed off. It's light, but keeps her covered. Really handy if she rolls around in her sleep alot! Kinda like this:

  3. Well, i was also having the problem you did, me and pumps didn't get along ( i tried not only sucked, it just wasn't working) We tried and tried to breast feed the first week at hp, but it just wasn't working for me. She wasn't happy, i wasn't happy, and it just seems now that she's happy with the bottle, she was never fond of the boobie.

    On top of all that stress going on, i was having a issue producing (due to the cyst stuff i told you about blocking my glands) and i had milk in my neck! but wasn't producing.

    Thanks a ton for the support Jennypoo, i can't wait to see K and for you to see Em :)

    Your comment is definitely appreciated :) i love your advice :)

  4. Also, JennyZ. I think you have a type, i said WIPE warmer, diaper warmer sounds wierd.. lol. And yes, they are a Waste of money imo also. You know how hot it is down here, who wants a WARM wipe on a WARM but when they are hot! Not me!

    We have a bunch of the gowns/and "Sack" thingies and we love them, if i could id leave her in one all the time.

    At first i was a bit weird about them, bc if you don't get them fitting right, they are restrictive, my advice, buy a size bigger. i like the ones with elastic bottoms, for night because it's easier to change her. But during the day the zippy ones rock!

    (Off topic, they also remind me of those little laundry bags for hang up clothes) I know, i'm random...

  5. Eer, I meant wipe warmer, LOL... had diapers on the brain.

  6. Also, didn't get a chance to answer the rest 'cause Kara was doing her usual freak out over her nap... *sigh*

    It's actually normal to not have milk for the first week after birth. Mine didn't come in for 5 days. At first you just have colostrum, which the baby can get out in small doses (it's super duper pumped full of immunity stuff), but the real milk doesn't come in till later. And it's hard to tell if the baby is actually getting the colostrum. It's a rough period of time... mine was even worse, because Kara had a bad latch, and it hurting like hell. I think that if I didn't have a ridiculously bf-friendly supportive pediatrician, a great support network, and the stubbornness of a mule, I would have given up after a week. :(

    The weight loss the first week is also normal for breastfed babes. Because it takes a while for the milk to come in, babies lose 10% of their body weight that week. Kara went from 7lbs 6oz to 6lbs 12oz. It's really just water they're losing, though. They're born with extra water so that they don't dehydrate. Their tummy is only about the size of a thimble right after birth, so even the little bit of colostrum they get is good to keep them going. That's also why they feed so often in the first few weeks... small tummy means small, frequent feedings. It makes them seem like they're starving, but again, totally normal.

    Doctors aren't actually taught any of this in school (weird huh?)... Hell, most hospital "lactation consultants" aren't even really educated properly. Modern medicine has pretty much forgotten about how it all works, because so few women do it. :( I had to do a ridiculous amount of research to figure this stuff out.

  7. (And I totally don't mean that to make you feel bad at all!! It's just good to know, in case you wanted to try again, with Em or with your future bebes.... hope I didn't come across badly!)

  8. O i know you don't mean anything by it, just your advice, and i will happily take it. If i ever have more, i will definately be doing more research and my support system will be along stronger. As most know this pregnancy wasn't the easiest emotionally for me, and still working on the "support system" now.

    But, i will definitely try some different things the next time around, now that i know my likes and dislikes when it comes to things.

    Your advice, or questions, or curiosities are ALWAYS welcome, so don't feel like your coming across badly (is that a word, it sounds funny for some reason, lol).

    And also, taking breaks in between posting is completely understandable, i'm posting while she naps, and sometimes while she's laying on me, she seems to enjoy watching the computer screen, so if she's fussy, we throw on my homemade "shapes and bright colors" video and she's content and giggles :) i love it.

  9. Even in a cold climate, our wipes are still room-temp! I've had 'em freeze in the car, but I'm not buying a warmer for the vehicle:) Plus, what happens when baby is used to nice warm wipes, and you're out somewhere and have to use a cool one?? lol

  10. Exactly Thepsychobabble, i'd rather her cry and fuss a bit at first with a cool wipe, then have to use a cold wipe after she's become used to a warm one. Because then she's going to pitch a FIT. Its just a waste of money to me.

    Thanks for the comment, had a great time talking to you during Home Her '10